March 27th, 2017 → 6:01 am @ Lea // No Comments

“O opportunity, thy guilt is great!” – Lucrece

Having a handicap involves quite a number of paradoxes.  You are happy for the health you have, though not exactly grateful for the infirmities you bear.  You are prepared to keep your troubles to yourself and not bother other people, but then when you truly need help no one is around.  You are motivated to stay strong and not dissolve into emotion, but then, the inner heartache festers without light and attention.  You are quite honest when you say you are proud of your handicap and that it made you the strong, empathic person that you are, but then late at night when no one is looking, you sometimes wonder what your life would have been like without the experience.

I suppose life in general is full of paradoxes, but those for the handicapped stand out, I believe, in a more pronounced way.  The contradictions are sharper, but then, so is your existence.  Whether this is good or bad is yet another paradox.